My life goal is to be on Survivor.
Some people think I have low aspirations, others think I’m
crazy, and a few support me.
I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m not crazy. You
have to have a little bit of crazy if you to want to be on Survivor!
For the past 10 years I’ve been trying to think of ways to
Outwit, Outlast and Outplay the thousands of other of people who want to be on
Survivor. And now, here I am. I am officially starting my campaign to be on
Survivor! So Jeff Probst, Charlie Parsons and Mark Burnett, listen up! I’m
talking to you and your gang of hooligans who cast us Survivors.
But I’ll help you out, I’ll give you reasons why you
wouldn’t cast me. Because we can get those out of the way pretty quickly
considering the list is small and not of great consequence.
1. I don’t look like your average “Survivor Girl’ with
the perfect body, white teeth and boobs that stay the same size after 25 days
of eating rice and beans and living in the middle of nowhere.. (seems fishy to
me;)). My mom always makes fun of me and says she’ll get me a boob job to get
me on the show! My boobs are pretty small though. In fact, when I go to
face-to-face with a wall, my nose touches first! That’s right. My nose is
bigger than my boobs. BUT that’s nothing a great push up bra can’t fix. So I’ve
actually solved that problem for you right off the bat! You’re welcome!
2.
I'm mentally stable. So if you’re looking for
another “Coach”, “Russel”, or “J’tia” keep moving along. Chances are I won’t be making up stories
about meeting Aborigines or steeling people’s shoes and hiding them in the
water, or dumping out my tribe’s entire stock of food. I mean, I’m not THAT
crazy.
Now that we’ve got all THAT out of way, we can get to why I
may be the best casting decision you've ever made.
1.
I’m athletic. I was an athlete in high school. I was the captain (and goalie) of my
varsity soccer team. I also played basketball and made the team from pure brute
force. My coach would call me the “enforcer”. When he wanted to shut a girl
down, he’d put me in. They might have had 50 pounds on me, but people get
really annoyed and start playing a little worse when you keep throwing elbows
and holding onto their jerseys. I continue to stay athletic in college by rock climbing every day, hiking, running, swimming, the works.
2.
I’m smart. I'll be graduating with
honors AND a semester early with my Bachelors of Science in Communication. I
could keep going on and say I’m the president of the communication honor
society (Lambda Pi Eta), and that I won the outstanding student athlete award
presented to me by the army national guard, but, that’s just bragging!
Jeff Probst, Charlie Parsons and
Mark Burnett, currently we are dating, but you don’t know it yet. I’m like that girl
on campus you never used to see, but she kept coming around and you weren't sure
if it was creepy or endearing…. So for now, just sit back and enjoy the ride! And
cast me. Because I’d be a perfect fit for YOU.
-Sherri, the Survivor Girl
